“I want Bill C-30 to pass so I can claim my party is helping families. I need the Bloc vote. I'm saying nice things about Quebec to get it. I will talk a lot about how hard life is. I want you to support more spending, not just ask questions.”
What they said. What they meant.
Plain-language translations from the House of Commons.
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A debate on a Conservative motion to lower fuel prices and costs of living. The Conservatives said the government isn't doing enough to help Canadians struggling with high gas prices and inflation. The Bloc accused both the Liberals and Conservatives of being too pro-oil. The Liberals touted their existing affordability measures and accused the Conservatives of failing to support them.
“I want the Minister of Finance to say nice things about our programs. I will talk about how we spent money to help families, even if it is not in the topic. I want to look like I care. The Conservatives are bad because they didn't vote for more spending. I want more spending.”
“I want to reply by talking about nice things our party did, to make us look caring and the Conservatives look uncaring. I want to list many expensive programs we voted for as if that's proof we are helping. I want people to know I care about what they want. I'm going to talk a lot about how we spent money so that maybe people will think we're doing something good.”
“If we stop taxing gas, how will city halls get that money? They need it for buses.”
“I want to look caring and fiscally responsible at the same time. We took two-thirds of the money and spent it on what people want right now.”
“I want to look reasonable, so I'll start by praising the minister. But really, I want to challenge him on the gas tax. The current measure is only temporary and ends when families have extra expenses. I want the government to eliminate all gas taxes for the whole year.”
“I want to look good too, so I'll praise my colleague for speaking two languages. Now, to answer his challenge: my party already temporarily suspended some gas tax and we spent money on other programs. We did our part -- it's not our fault most of the gas price is from global oil markets.”
“I want to look good too. I'll explain why my party is voting against this motion. It's mostly because we don't like oil and gas companies or the Conservatives and Liberals who support them. The motion might make the deficit bigger and let oil companies raise prices more. I'm repeating this over and over to make it look like a really long speech. I don't like that a temporary gas tax cut helped rich people more than poor people. The Conservatives want to add billions more to the deficit by cutting gas taxes even more until 2026. I think the rich have enough already. Why should we help oil companies more when their stocks are already up 50% this year? It's sad that the other parties want to help those CEOs instead of real people.”
“I want to cheer for my party's program that spends money so people like us.”
“I think the government's program is deceptive. They just changed the name and now pretend it helps with groceries. That's dishonest. I agree with my party that the carbon tax hurts poor people most. The government shouldn't trick people like that.”
“The Conservatives and Liberals both defend oil and gas companies. The Conservatives criticize Liberal deficits. But they propose a measure that makes deficits even worse! Why are Conservatives now bigger spenders than Liberals? Why do they want to run larger deficits?”
“I want to pile on: conservatives always help oil companies. It costs taxpayers a lot and they don't care. Liberals spend lots on oil too. But Conservatives are even more eager to spend big helping oil companies. They never help ordinary people.”
“Do you concede any program helped Quebec even a little? Or do you just pretend everything we do fails, to make us look bad?”
“I want you to admit Quebec got nothing out of that carbon tax deal. We sent money out to the rest of Canada and got nothing back. Admit that!”
“The Liberals are doing what the Conservatives want, but even more. The Conservatives have no real ideas left, so they can only make weak noises and look useless. I really enjoy pointing this out.”
“I want to cheer that the Bloc will vote with us against the Conservatives. I want to say the Conservatives are wrong about gas prices. Do you like our grocery benefit? We named it something new and we say it's well-targeted.”
“I agree our grocery benefit is a good targeted program. I want to say the real bad targeting is on oil companies and pipelines. Oil companies get too much. Did the Prime Minister give them money on purpose because he owns shares? His deficits help rich corporations the most.”
“I'm not an economist. But I think when we cut gas taxes, companies just kept the money as profit and raised prices again. Why are gas prices rising when our oil isn't from the Strait of Hormuz? Gas companies shouldn't raise prices unless they have to.”
“I think oil companies are just out to make a buck. When we tried to cut gas taxes, they just took the money and kept prices high. It doesn't matter if oil gets more expensive somewhere else in the world, they'll always find an excuse to raise prices here. Giving tax cuts just helps the companies, not drivers.”
“I want to say nice things about my co-worker. I think the government should spend a lot of money on environment programs. Does he want that too?”