“It warms my heart when opponents suddenly agree with my side's views on choice. But never mind that! Hey look, sometimes my preferred system still doesn't work perfectly. I'm glossing over that by implying it must somehow be the fault of people who disagree with me.”
What they said. What they meant.
Plain-language translations from the House of Commons.
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A long bill to modernize Canada's military justice system, mostly by changing investigation and trial processes for sexual offenses. Members split their time between discussing the bill's actual changes and trading partisan shots at each other.
“I'm walking back my words. I don't want blowback.”
“I want to cheer for our program. It does good things for soldiers. A judge also said it's good.”
“That's bad. I don't like that. I think its very bad. We need changes because I heard a sad story.”
“I'm saying our party already did what that report recommended. I name-drop the specific part of the report to prove it. If I talk a lot maybe it will make me look good.”
“Does putting the army in charge of sexual assault cases make sense to you? I want you to say it's a bad idea.”
“I need to look like I support the troops. This bill is a good chance to do that. We should pass it because a judge said so. The other parties want to change it. That's bad. I don't like that. I think its very bad.”
“I want military courts to change because some people don't trust them. I think the government needs to keep reforming it until enough people trust the system.”
“I want to cheer for my preferred system. The people who agree with me matter, and people who don't agree with me don't matter. The change I like is good, and should stay. I don't want to go backwards.”
“I want to look like I care about sexual assault victims. I hope repeating that we are listening will make me look good.”
“I want to cheer for the politician before me. Listen to the victims! I want lawmakers to listen to the 14,000 military members who already told us what they want. That's all I have to say.”
“Do you think Arbour is wrong? You must be wrong. Everyone else agrees with me.”
“I want this military justice bill to pass so the government can claim it's helping victims. I'm filling time by listing programs and saying 'sexual misconduct' a lot.”
“I don't want to directly address those witnesses you mentioned. I want to emphasize how important our own report is instead. Here is why the person who made our report is important: she is very famous and accomplished. Because she is so revered, we should do what she recommends. Her report found very bad things. Many, many people were consulted! Trust me: there are no reasons to doubt this report.”
“I'm not on that committee. I'm a lawyer. I've worked in that field. We all want to do good work. Sometimes you lose.”
“I want to cheer for a program that spends money in my riding. I want my colleague to agree with me.”
“Avoid the question. Focus on victim stories instead. Use them to give the government room to manoeuvre.”
“I don't like that. You're mean and you don't care about victims. I think we should listen to Justice Arbour. Conservatives are bad.”
“The Canadian Armed Forces are very important. Bad things happened. We need to fix the system. Bill C-11 will help. It moves sexual misconduct cases to civilian courts. That makes the process clear and fair. It gives victims more support. It keeps the system independent. People need a system that works. Let's pass this bill to make things better.”
“I want to pass this bill quickly because a famous person worked on it.”